Thursday, June 30, 2016

6.30.16 Hero of the Day: Dave Barber


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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A VERY SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Dave Barber
Age: was 60
Occupation: former talk radio and TV host
Last Seen: in Heaven, crooning with Frank, Dean and Sammy
Awarded For: being a wonderful and unique entertainer 



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Hard to believe it, but on Monday, July 4th, it will be one year since the passing of the great radio legend and a man I considered a friend, Dave Barber.

Long before Howard Stern had naked girls running around his studio, Dave had the same thing. He was sharp as a whip and not afraid to speak his mind. A legend of Flint, MI, he entertained the masses on stations such as WFDF, WTRX and WTAC before finally getting syndicated across the state in 2001 on the Michigan Talk Radio Network. I listened to his show from the beginning and loved almost every minute of it. Hell, he was even a huge fan of my website and even invited me to breakfast at his "breakfast nook" in Grand Blanc, Kihos Island. He and I proudly shot the shit about radio and everything else.

I've had some great moments with Dave, especially when I called in the show and I made him laugh. One time, I told him that they ought to create a feature on TV sets that took out the blurs on certain TV shows. I was thinking about female nudity, but he had Cops in mind. He also laughed real hard when I reminded him why Joe Lieberman would make a bad president: "you can't even pronounce his wife's name!"

It was Dave, however, whom I was listening to when the World Trade Towers collapsed on 9/11. "It's the worst day in American history", he said. I woke up in the middle of a call he was airing and thought that he was being his sometimes sarcastic self. The top of the hour CNN News aired on my local station (the now-defunct WLDR NewsRadio 1210 in Traverse City) and thought that I was living in a sci-fi world.

When I moved to Grand Rapids full-time in 2002, I met Dave one more time; this time, it was at the Admiral Tobacco at 28th and East Paris, pimping his "BUTTS" campaign (Barber Uplifts Troops Through Smokes) where he donated cigarettes to the troops in Iraq. However, not long after that, he quit MTRN over the lack of payment and went back to being live and local on Flint's SuperTalk 1570. From there, he moved to Providence, RI where he worked at WPRO Radio and then to the state's Capitol TV cable channel.

A year ago, Dave returned to Flint to attend his niece's wedding. However, he suffered a heart attack during a rehearsal dinner and was rushed to a Pontiac hospital. On July 4th, he died from its complications, plus a stroke at the age of 60.

Since his passing, so much has happened, especially with the Flint water crisis. If he was still on the air in Flint, he - like the rest of the residents - would be calling for the resignation of Gov. Snyder. But then again, he would proclaim on Facebook that he will always be a Flintstonian but she had let down her own people. While the folks in Flint are now trying to stay away from the tainted water, Dave is drinking the water of life up in the heavens, and maybe doing some crooning with a Rat Packer or two.

The world of talk radio just isn't the same without Dave.
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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

6.29.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Eddie Lampert


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Eddie Lampert
Age: 54
Occupation: CEO, Sears Holdings
Last Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: running his company into the ground



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One of my favorite moments on Family Guy is when the Griffins pay a visit to Sears.

"Peter! Nobody's been in Sears for decades!", said Lois. Ain't that the truth. The two look inside to see that the once-proud store now resembled something you'd see from "Mad Max".

I had the misfortune of going to the Sears at Woodland Mall here in Grand Rapids a few months ago to find a pump for my air mattress. It seemed that everybody there was CLUELESS on where they were. One woman - who acted like she was from Bosnia - acted pissed and made me feel totally uncomfortable. Well, I found my pump by the hardware, same place as where I came in.

Once upon a time, Sears, Roebuck and Co. was a company that stood for America. Their catalogs were a part of the American home and gave people some good paper to wipe their asses with in the outhouse.

Same with Kmart. An offshoot of the old S.S. Kresge and Co. variety store chain, they were once a huge part of American culture. It was founded here in Michigan in 1899 with Kmart being developed in 1962. When I moved to Grand Rapids in 2002, my local Kmart was already out of business and is now a Burlington Coat Factory. Grand Rapids is loaded with Meijers, Walmarts and Targets, but now, there's only two Kmarts. The last time I stepped foot into a Kmart, I was pretty well ignored.

The sad thing is that over the past 20 or so years, Kmart has been turning into a white elephant in the retail business. As much as I hate Walmart, at least their stores are better-run over Kmart's. There's many websites that show Kmart's shoddy operation. Take a look at thisthis and this.

According to employees, the reason why Sears and Kmart and failing is because of one man: their CEO, Eddie Lampert. Lampert is a billionaire who made his money with a hedge fund. Since taking over the company, they've been operating in the red and they've been closing stores left and right. Every year, the chain closes countless stores; there's now less than 1,000 Kmarts still in operation. Many Kmarts still in operation are very poorly-run and in older, outdated buildings.

While Walmart and Meijer invest billions in building new stores and updating older ones, Kmart is doing anything but. Hell, I gotta give Meijer major props for getting rid of their original store on 28th and Kalamazoo here in GR and building a new one in its place. The old store reminded me of a typical Kmart - sans a full line grocery - from around 1990. Every time I went there 10 years ago, I had Boyz II Men's "Motownphilly" playing in my head, and not in a good way.

Oh, did I tell you that Lampert is slated to run Sears until at least 2018? SMH.

You know, in order for any business to survive, they MUST renovate once in a great while. I even remembered when my childhood Big K remodeled when I was young, and it wasn't that old of a store. In recent years, Kmart has been anything but that. They need to learn from successful people like the Meijer family and put money not just into their stores, but into their people. If Costco can pay their workers $12 per hour, so can they. Less employee turnover equates to a successful business and it shows. I think if Kmart can start doing this, their employees would want to work and people will come back to their stores.

But until then, not even Rain Man will want to buy even their underwear.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2016

6.28.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Texas


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Texas
Age: 497
Occupation: the Lone Star State
Last Seen: southern US
Bee-otched For: getting owned by the Supreme Court



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Sometimes, I feel so happy that I never lived in Texas.

Well, for starters, their politics suck. Hell, guess who used to be that state's governor? A guy by the name of George W. Bush. Remember him? When he was governor, he forced schools to go abstinence-only in regards to sex ed. The end result: the state ended up with one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates and even some schools reported an outbreak of syphilis. Even Bush's successor, Rick Perry claimed that abstinence-only education works but didn't have proof that it did.

Now, the Supreme Court has turned the heat on Texas because a few years ago, the state ordered half of its abortion clinics to close. The state claimed that the shuttered clinics were not sanitary enough for their patients, but with the lack of places for a woman to get an abortion other than with a coat hanger, some even had to go to other states like California to get their abortion.

Yesterday, in a 5-3 decision, the High Court ruled that Texas' abortion ban was indeed unconstitutional. Now, other states with similar laws - namely my home state of Michigan - are now worried that their abortion laws might be unconstitutional, too.

In Michigan's case, a woman under the age of 18 must have parental consent to have an abortion. OK, so what if that person was raped and doesn't want to talk about it with their parents? When a woman is raped, IT'S NEVER HER FAULT. But since this state's local governments are mostly run by the women-hating GOP, this is what we get. If a young lady in Flint is raped and doesn't get parental consent, she must have the baby, but hey! She can expose the little rugrat to the lead-tainted water that our state government created as-is!

Thanks to states that think that they're all above the law, there's a few of them that have stupid laws that pertain to abortion and sadly, it's all unconstitutional. Roe V. Wade was passed 40 + years ago and it's time for the assholes running those states to stop taking them to the past.

What's next? All women must be barefoot and pregnant? 
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Monday, June 27, 2016

6.27.16 Bee-otch of the Day: non-voters


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Names: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: England
Bee-otched For: not voting



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For years, England seemed to be a more liberal country than America.

Their healthcare system is way better than ours, they actually have no problems with nudity and swearing on TV and, well, they're definite leftists because they drive on the left side of the road.

However, the country it seems is now turning into a place that looks like what America would be if Donald Trump was running the joint. Last week, the country voted to leave the European Union. The vote was a slim one, but the "leaves" outvoted the "ins". Many believe that the reason why people wanted England to leave the EU was over the growing amount of racism the country is facing over the influx of refugees entering the country.

Most of those voted "leave" were mostly older while the "ins" were younger. Sound familiar? We have that same problem here in America where younger people simply don't vote because, well, they don't care. As long as mommy and daddy wipes their ass, the whole world is A-OK.

Yes, young people work and they don't want to stand in a long line to vote. Old people, however, have the time. They think that the biggest problem this world is facing is that Muslims are taking over this world and when they do, it's the equivalent to bowing to the murderers on 9/11 and the guy who shot up the gay nightclub in Orlando. Guess what? The Dow and other international markets took a hit and oil prices are going back up.

I know, independence is nice, but when one secedes, they're on their own. What's next for post-Brexit England? Company-run healthcare? Private pensions? Hell, if your home's burning down, wanna pay the fire department to put the fire out?

Less government isn't always nice.

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Thursday, June 23, 2016

6.23.16 Bee-otches of the Day: The Republican Party


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 162
Occupation: right-winged schmucks
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: causing people to sit
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As I'm typing this on a muggy Wednesday night here in Grand Rapids, things are heating up in Washington, DC.

A group of Democrats are holding a sit-in at the House of Representatives to force a vote on gun control. The idea for the sit-in came from Georgia Congressman John Lewis who got the idea from the sit-ins he was involved in as a Civil Rights activist in the 1960s. Now, he and others in the House are now pressuring the Republicans to create a bill that would further limit the sale of assault weapons in wake of the tragedy in Orlando, FL that has taken 50 lives and wounded 53 others.

Since Obama took office in 2009, there have been way too many shootings and mass murders, such as the one at Sandy Hook. It didn't help matters when in 2014, both the House and Senate were taken over by the Repukes, mainly those funded by pro-gun groups like the NRA.

Look, I'll betcha that most of the schmucks who want lighter gun registration will cry that the Orlando massacre would have ended much faster if somebody themselves had an open carry permit in the bar. OK, so should we ALL own a gun in case we're confronted with a mad gunman?

Like I keep saying, it's on us. If you call yourself a Democrat and you didn't vote in the 2014 elections, FUCK YOU. YOU'RE PART OF THE REASON THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED PRO-GUN REPUKES TO TAKE CONTROL DESPITE A 10% APPROVAL RATING.

I applaud this sit-in since I hope it will cause the Repukes' hearts to grow two times too big like the Grinch's. But as long as the NRA keeps filling their pockets, I doubt it.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

6.22.16 Bee-otch of the Day: iHeartMedia


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: iHeartMedia
Age: 44
Occupation: nearly-bankrupt media giant
Last Seen: San Antonio
Bee-otched For: giving Howard and Bubba a Swift firing, but all others that might cost them a Tong of money are A-OK
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It was a sad day in 2004 when the company formerly known as Clear Channel, iHeartMedia decided to can all their shock jocks simply because of the Janet Jackson nip slip during the Super Bowl.

Many radio markets canned the Stern show, only to have their rivals pick up the program. Of course, when Stern moved to Sirius in 2006, it left iHeart and their competitors wondering how to do radio again.

I remember Howard talking about how CC was now forcing their jocks to sign an agreement that if they did something that would give their station a massive fine from the FCC, they would be the one paying it. Well, say that to Steve Swift, one of the Sunday night mix show DJs at CHR WSNX 104.5 here in Grand Rapids.

WSNX has had a Sunday night mix show called Club 1045 for years, where local turntablists mix together popular tunes in the EDM and top 40 genres. As somebody who's been getting into EDM myself these past few years, I decided to break through my iHeart ban and gave Club 1045 a whirl. The program airs Sundays 8-10p while 7-8p is filled by Evolution which is hosted by legendary British DJ Pete Tong (iHeart syndicates the show and many of their CHRs air it). Swift's segment airs from 8-9p while 9-10 is handled by DJ Digimark.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was listening to Evolution when towards the end of the show, they were playing a remix of Prince's "Erotic City" with the alleged lyrics "funk so pretty you and me/Erotic City come alive/if we funk until the dawn...." etc. Now, I've heard that back in the day, some radio stations were fined for playing that tune, and it was when indecency fines were $7,000. Now, it's $325,000.

Last Sunday night during Steve Swift's first set, he played not one, but TWO songs that contained the word "fuck" unbleeped: "Never Be Like You" by Flume featuring Kai and "Sex" by Cheat Codes with Kris Kross Amsterdam (no, not the 1990's teenage rap duo who dressed backwards). The Flume tune contained the line "now I fucked up" four times while "Sex" - which borrows the chorus from the 1990s Salt 'N Pepa classic "Let's Talk About Sex" - has the lines "let's fuck for hours" and "pussy power".

Ironically for "Never Be Like You", the chorus goes "I'm only human, can't you see?/I made, I made a mistake."

Now, I'm not trying to get anybody fired here. I think Mr. Swift is a fine DJ who is a fixture at local clubs in the 616 while Tong is well-respected by EDM fans around the world. There's that slight part of me that Swift didn't know that those two remixes were not safe for radio, plus the fact that he might have been too busy syncing up the next track for transition while producing the mix show. Plus, the person who uploaded the tracks into WSNX's automation system probably only makes $20,000 per year and didn't catch the profanities.

However, at the end of the day, 1) WSNX won't get fined by the FCC because most people don't give a flying fuck despite them being the CHR station of record for Grand Rapids, 2) Steve Swift and Pete Tong will still be getting paychecks from iHeartMedia and 3) iHeart will still have a staggering $20 billion in debt and will wonder if they can afford to renew Rush Limbaugh's contract.

To me, however, it shows how hypocritical iHeartMedia is. Howard is bad for saying "blumpkin" but it's OK for somebody spinning 1s and 2s to play something with the f-bomb in it. Good thing their stock price is hovering over a buck while SiriusXM is doing four times as better.

Maybe somebody needs to know what Lifebuoy tastes like.


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Tuesday, June 21, 2016

6.21.16 Bee-otch of the Day: The Bob and Tom Show


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Bob and Tom Show
Age: 33
Occupation: bland morning show
Last Seen: Indianapolis
Bee-otched For: trying to get new blood
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Let's pretend, shall we that it's 1912 and the Titanic slammed into the iceberg and started to sink. The crew leaves and the passengers that are able to abandon ship as it sinks into the ocean.

So let's say that the crew starts asking people to come back onto the ship. Now, would you do it?

Well, that's exactly what the folks at The Bob and Tom Show are doing. In several radio trade sites, the show is asking people to join the four-hour hokey chucklefest, especially since two key cast members, Bob Kevoian and Kristi Lee retired and left the show respectively. In the case of Lee, the show never even acknowledged her absence.

So the question is, if you wanted to grow your career in radio, would you do it on the good 'ol Bob and Tom Show, a program that uses fake laughtracks and does comedy bits that were funny maybe 25 years ago? Oh, and the fact that the companies that own the show, iHeartMedia (which own their flagship station in Indianapolis, Q95) and Citadel (which syndicates the show) are BOTH in debt billions of dollars? Personally, I'd be keeping my day job.

Why can't Tom Griswold retire already (and I think Chick McGee is up there in age, too) and just simply ride off into the sunset? Let somebody take the radio torch and run with it! True, 150 radio stations will scramble to find new, fresh morning talent, but it's worth it.

But if you choose to sink with the Titanic, bring extremely good scuba gear. Ya gonna need it.

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Monday, June 20, 2016

6.23.16 Bee-otches of the Day: non-voters


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not voting in the 2014 election
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It was a week ago Sunday that our great country faced its worst disaster on US soil since 9/11. Fifty people and 53 more were all shot to death over their decision to hang out at a popular gay nightclub in Orlando, FL.

The shooter was a man who hated America, beat his ex-wife and was on a FBI watchlist. Yet, he was legal enough to purchase the AR-15 that killed 0r seriously injured all those people. For the fifteenth time a week ago Sunday, President Obama came out to express his anger over another mass killing.

Of course, there's probably a few folks who blame the president for the massacre. After all, when a Democrat becomes president, the thought from the right is "THEY'RE GON' TAKE OUR GUNS!" and they raid the corner gun shop in fear. The mother of the Sandy Hook shooter did and we know the tragic result.

So, now what? With President Obama now serving his final several months in office, one could wonder if there's more shootings in the pipeline. Are we going to spend the next seven months living in fear because right now, some fringe loony has his hands on an AR-15 or an AK-47?

Here's a better question: why didn't you vote in 2014?

The 2014 midterm elections had the lowest turnout since WWII. Congress, with their 10% approval rating got easily reelected while the Senate went to the Repukes. Many of these idjits were sponsored by the NRA who paid these candidates a crap ton of $$$ to make sure that anti-gun laws didn't get passed. And well, it's working.

The NRA thinks that the only way that the Orlando shooter would have stopped so quickly is if others in the bar shot the guy. OK, other than the assassin, who would want to go to a bar just to kill others? Do we ALL need to take a gun to the bar in case shit happens and the bouncer can't down the guy?

Look, I'm not against owning a gun for hunting. But do we need to own an assault weapon? NO! I think most people who do, do so only because they're fucking paranoid that the world is going to enter apocalypse mode and we'll have no choice but to kill everything we see.

I understand, there's an election this Fall and we ALL need to vote, even if there's no truly popular candidates. It's time to broom out the NRA from our government and get some true, common sense people in the government where they belong.

Until then, if you didn't vote in the 2014 elections, find a mirror and repeat after me: "I caused the Orlando shooting massacre".

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Thursday, June 16, 2016

6.16.16 Bee-otches of the Day: the Devos family


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Name: the Devos family
Age: various
Occupation: Amway
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: being a bunch of fucked up hypocrites
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Orlando is definitely not a happy place right now.

In just this past week, the worst shooting massacre on US soil took place, a young, talented singer from NBC's The Voice was murdered and just yesterday, a three-year old boy was mauled to death by an alligator at Disney World.

But in the face of what some might now call the Tragic Kingdom, there's a lot of hope for the survivors of Sunday morning's shooting massacre.

Many businesses and others have given generously to the OneOrlando fund which is helping those seriously injured in the shooting at The Pulse nightclub. Disney is pledging $1 million and will match their employees' donations dollar-for-dollar.

However, one shocking donation is from the Orlando Magic, that city's NBA team. They are donating $400,000 to the fund. However, the family that owns the Magic has given more than four times that amount to anti-gay groups.

That family is none other than the Devos family, based right here in Grand Rapids. RawStory.com has released an article about how patriarch Richard Devos, who co-founded Amway in 1959 and the rest of his family have all given to groups such as Focus on the Family that have all fought against gay marriage, AIDS health and other issues regarding the LGBT community. The article even points out that when he was fighting to maintain control of the Los Angeles Clippers, Donald Sterling - who was banned from the league for life because of his racist remarks - pointed out that Devos is a homophobe and should not own an NBA team.

Devos, who is 90 has defended his anti-gay views for years simply because of his religion, even though the only time Jesus ever talked about homosexuality in the Bible, it was in the same section in Leviticus where he considered eating seafood and getting a tattoo a sin. But since he later considered the Old Testament moot and the fact that he personally never talked about homosexuality in the New Testament, it makes blasting the LGBT community itself a sin.

I think the reason for the Devoses giving the Pulse victims money is simply because it's fashionable right now and they want to make good for the city of Orlando and the NBA. Hell, it's probably a tax write-off for him.

True, it's a step in the right direction for the Devoses to help those hurt in this disaster, but $400,000 vs. over $2 million still makes them evil.

Nice try. 

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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

6.15.16 Bee-otch of the Day: National Rifle Association


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Name: National Rifle Association
Age: 145
Occupation: gun lobbyists
Last Seen: Fairfax, VA
Bee-otched For: being the reason why we still have mass shootings in America
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On Sunday, for the fifteenth time since becoming US president, Barack Obama gave out a speech regarding a mass shooting.

Since becoming president, it's been one of Obama's problems: dealing with a House and Senate that's all bought by the NRA and they don't want to pass any type of gun control legislation. Even after the Sandy Hook tragedy that killed 30 children, the NRA's main concern is that if they take away our guns, America will no longer be free.

There's many countries that have had massacres like ours and they've all sponsored gun buyback programs that have made their countries safer. But here in America, OH! We can't because of that little thing called "The Second Amendment" that allows all Americans to own a gun to protect themselves, even though it was created in 1776 when guns took forever to load, preventing any mass casualties. Nowadays, you can own an AR-15 like the one that wiped out 50 innocent clubgoers in Orlando and in the case of Omar Mateen, you can get one even if you're being under the FBI spotlight.

On Sunday, I posted a message on Facebook about the shootings: "50 dead and 53 injured. When will this madness stop?" My mother is one of my Facebook followers and is sadly an NRA sympathizer: "When everyone gets a carry permit. They would have dropped him in no time." Needless to say, that statement ended up turning into a little argument with my cousin who told her that if everybody in the club had a gun, they would be shooting at each other and there would be more casualties. Needless to say, when Mommy gets into war of words with one of my Facebook buddies, she calls me and asks me how I feel about the situation.

Look, I'm not against guns. I think it's OK to own a shotgun, especially if you're a hunter. But when it comes to semiautomatic killing machines that look like guns, then it's another topic. I think Obama needs to work even harder with what he has and stop the madness. But with the NRA paying thousands per senator and congressman, it ain't gonna happen.

This is why you need to vote in the midterms, people.

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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

6.14.16 Hero of the Day: Gordie Howe


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!


Name: Gordie Howe
Age: was 88
Occupation: legendary hockey player
Last Seen: in the Great Beyond
Awarded For: being eight notches higher than #9
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I was planning to give Mr. Howe the honorary Hero of the Day on Monday, but I had to cover the Orlando massacre. I might be a day late, but it's still a good idea to pay tribute to a man who loved the sport he played and even more, the family he cherished.

Born in the tiny town of Floral, Saskatchewan, Gordie Howe was one of nine children. During the Great Depression, he helped his father in the construction business. When that trade went downhill, Gordie found a new love: hockey.

At the age of 18, Gordie Howe became a Detroit Red Wing. In his 25 seasons with the team, he won four Stanley Cups and led the team in scoring for several seasons. He retired from the ice in 1971 because of Arthritis, but returned only two years later to join sons Mark and Marty in the Houston Aeros in the WHA. Later, the trio joined the New England/Hartford Whalers, which merged into the NHL in 1979. A 23-time NHL All-Star, Howe officially hung up his skates for the final time in 1980. But in 1997, he once again laced up his skates and joined the IHL's Detroit Vipers for one game at the age of 69.

In his impressive career, Howe 2,421 games, scored 1,071 goals, 1,518 assists and 2,589 points total. Some of his records were broken by a man who idolized Howe growing up: Wayne Gretzky.

Howe was a true old-school hockey player, never wearing a helmet. He even needed brain surgery after getting severely smacked in the head in a 1951 game. There weren't many popular hockey players during Howe's time as a player, and it's due to the fact that the NHL only had six teams - Detroit, Chicago, New York, Montreal, Boston and Toronto - until 1967 when the league expanded. Maybe - and thanks a lot to his wife, Colleen, who was also his manager - that's why he was deserving of his nickname "Mr. Hockey".

While Howe only played one professional hockey game in my lifetime, I was happy to have lived not too far from him in the 1990's. He and Colleen owned a home on Old Mission Peninsula; they even listed their phone number in the phone book. During their time up north, they were generous by raising their time and energy to build a new hockey arena in Traverse City. Gordie even pulled a Tim Horton and slapped his name on a popular restaurant. Gordie Howe's Tavern and Eatery was loaded with memorabilia from Howe's years as a player and even had its own penalty box.

However, I had a great moment with Mr. Hockey myself. In 1997, I was in high school and Tuesday nights were my visitation with my mother. It was announced that the Hanson Brothers - the stars from the 1977 Paul Newman film "Slap Shot" and not the doofuses that did "MMMBop" - were in Traverse City to promote a comedy video. I remember the Hansons going into the room where Gordie and Colleen were sitting and pulling a Wayne and Garth by bowing to them. I was looking in, right behind Gordie as it all happened. A day later at school, my secretary came into my room and told me to pick up today's Traverse City Record-Eagle because I was standing close to Howe in the photo.

And this was the result:



(Bonus points to anyone who could find me in the picture.)

Not long after the pic was taken of my brush with #9, the Howes moved to Detroit to be closer with family and Gordie Howe's Tavern and Eatery closed for good when Howe sued his partners. Colleen died in 2009 from a form of Dementia and Gordie himself contracted the disease. A few years ago, Gordie was practically on his death bed when his family decided to send him to Mexico for stem cell treatment. Gordie's life took a dramatic turn for the better. He was helping his family with chores and even joining them on trips to the mall. However, his health was still frail, and reportedly, he told his family that he wanted to die. As the world said their final respects to Muhammad Ali last Friday, Gordie Howe died at the age of 88 in Toledo with his family by his side.

Tributes to Howe came from all over, even from Wayne Gretzky, who broke some of his records. On Sunday's NHL Stanley Cup Final, they even paid tribute to him despite the atrocity in Orlando.

In the rink, Gordie Howe was tough, bonking into his helmet-less opponents and giving them the works. Outside, he was a lovable family man whose life without Colleen was a lost one. My thoughts are with the Howes, knowing that Gordie was a great human being through and through. His visitation is at Joe Louis Arena today and his funeral will be tomorrow at the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament.

Thank you, Gordie. You were a man of great skill and high class.

And Howe.


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Monday, June 13, 2016

6.13.16 Bee-otch of the Day: George W. Bush


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: George W. Bush
Age: 70
Occupation: failed president
Last Seen: Texas
Bee-otched For: playing a HUGE role in Sunday's horrific massacre
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This weekend was a sad one for Orlando and the world.

It all started on early Saturday morning when news broke that Christina Grimmie, the young, 22-year-old former contestant on The Voice who played Orlando that day was shot to death by an obsessed fan. Grimmie was popular even before appearing on the singing contest show because of her videos on YouTube that she posted as a teen.

Now, it's happened again, 50 times over.

A lone gunman walked into  a gay bar called The Pulse in Orlando Saturday night and opened fire on its patrons. At least 50 people were killed and over 50 more were injured, making the massacre the worst shooting in US history. The shooter was 29-year-old Omar Mateen, an Islamic man who was an Isis supporter. According to his father, he got angry after he saw two men kissing in Miami. According to sources, he bought his weapons legally. He was also a security guard for a gated community at his home in Fort Pierce, 120 miles from Orlando. Mateen's ex-wife claimed that he was very violent towards her.

Sadly, the more I hear about Isis, the more I realize that the words "Mission Accomplished" do not apply to what happened in Iraq all those years ago. We simply lost that war because of so-called "weapons of mass destruction" not being found and the fact that we turned a once-beautiful country into a pit. This is why we have Isis, folks. We spent TRILLIONS on this fake-ass war and the end result is more terrorism. The asshole who let this happen, George W. Bush ignored and lied to us about 9/11 and did the same with Iraq. It's nice that we captured and assassinated Osama under Obama's watch, but the sad fact of the matter is the question of do we head back over there to fight Isis so more US soldiers die?

The point is, is that it's a shame that Bush and Cheney are still free men. Last week, Cheney was even here in Grand Rapids to help dedicate the newly-renovated Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum. Bush, on the other hand is at home pretending to be Bob Ross making paintings.

You know, this is why we cannot afford to have another Republican president, ever. Bush fucked this country and the world so badly that he's a wanted man in other countries. We won't throw him into one of our own prisons because quite simply, we're stuck with a government that doesn't care.

Even worse, we're stuck with a pro-gun House and Senate that won't even shed a crocodile tear when a massacre like this happens. Hell, that's what they did when 30 children were killed at Sandy Hook School. They had the opportunity to prove that they had testicular fortitude when they were handed a gun control bill but they all voted nay on it.

Why is America the most-violent nation on Earth? Is it because there's too many people with a lack of a decent education with an IQ at room temperature who vote Republican because they don't like black folks? So they end up voting for the candidate who ends up cutting their own taxes so their supports wipe their ass by kissing their jobs goodbye? Sorry, but I don't like that logic at all. We need to vote Democrat or anything but Republican so gun laws in America become more strict so people like Mateen can't get them.

But in the meantime, the real criminals remain free.



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Thursday, June 9, 2016

6.9.16 Bee-otch of the Day: the Democratic Party


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Democratic Party
Age: 188
Occupation: the supposed left wing
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: getting Hillary nominated
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Well, it's official... Kinda.

On Tuesday morning, just hours before the last big state primaries in the west, the Democratic Party announced that thanks to superdelegates, Hillary Clinton had been chosen as the presumptive nominee for the party. IMO, that's nothing more than a bitch move.

Since Hillary's nomination, the media has been happy that she's the first female presidential nominee in this country's history. OK, so the media is wrong since Jill Stein of the Green Party is that party's nominee. SMH. As for Bernie Sanders, he's not giving up since he believes that the media is doing everything in their power to tell people that he's toast. Before the Dems announced Clinton's "win", Bernie had a slight lead over Hillary in California. Hillary ended up winning in that state.

Of course, you can thank people like Debbie Wasserman Schultz for pushing Hillary onto the masses. Because of her, Bernie is being thrown to the wolves and we're now stuck with two people nobody likes going after each other in the 2016 presidential election.

True, there's a chance that Bernie could run as an independent, but to me, it'll keep the left divided and the real winner will end up being Donald Trump. Remember what happened in 2000? I didn't vote simply because I couldn't stand either Bush or Al Gore's running mate, the right-leaning Joe Lieberman. We all knew what happened: fake wars and a bottomed-out economy.

The National Conventions haven't been held yet, so it might not be a Clinton-Trump ticket, at least yet. If I have to, yes, I'll vote for Hillary. But will I endorse her? No. To me, voting for somebody because he or she's the lesser of all the evils is like marrying the fattest woman in the world simply because the other woman willing to marry you is a sick serial killer. I voted in the Michigan primary, and I'm happy that Bernie won. However, thanks to the media being controlled by companies like TimeWarner and Comcast that all support Hillary, well, what you see is what you get. Instead of electing a man who wants to break down the banks and make healthcare stronger, we're stuck with a woman who accepts bribes from the companies that ruined our economy and accepted more bribes from the healthcare industry. In other words, kiss America having a free healthcare system that the Brits, Canadians, Japanese and others have goodbye.

I can't wait til we totally know who's running, but I don't think the outcome is gonna be pretty.

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