Thursday, November 19, 2015

11.19.15 Bee-otches of the Day: northern Michigan broadcasters



Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: the northern Michigan media
Age: various
Occupation: supposed entertainers and informers of the north
Last Seen: Traverse City, Petoskey, et. al.
Bee-otched For: having its head up its ass



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Last Friday as the world was shocked about the attacks in Paris, I decided to listen to a talk station out of northern Michigan to see what show they had on at 5 pm.

Apparently, WMKT 1270 out of Charlevoix's afternoon guy decided to focus on managing their sister stations in Cadillac, so they went with a syndicated show, Todd Schnitt out of Tampa, FL. He was talking about the tragedies out of Paris, and guess whom he pinned the blame on? Yup, President Obama.

He claimed that Obama is too light on Isis and basically swept them under the rug. REALLY?!? And guess who was responsible for Isis: DUBYA! He turned Iraq into a parking lot and a country with no guidance whatsoever.

But that's WMKT, a radio station that has never been over a one share in the ratings in a region where there's two other talk stations also with puny ratings: WYPV "Your Patriot Voice" 94.5 and WJML 1110/1210. True, there's WTCM 580, but they actually have good ratings, lead by Rush Limbaugh and local talker Ron Jolly. As for 'MKT, it doesn't shock me that their lineup is loaded with right-winged drivel. The station is owned by Trish MacDonald-Garber, whose father, the late Ken MacDonald practically gave her and her brother, Ken, Jr. (aka Mac), his entire broadcast empire.

In the early 1980s, MacDonald Broadcasting was a union shop. However, Ken decided one day that he wanted to bust them, so he did. I have a friend who worked at MacDonald Broadcasting HQ in Saginaw and was pissed over the disintegration of the union. He was living in a small apartment with a roommate while the Macs were living in a nice big mansion. He ended up moving to another market. As for Ken, he passed away in 1989, leaving the company to Trish and Mac. Of course, unions are supposed to be a cushion between employee and employer. Judging by the remarks I've heard about the two over the years, it explains why the doors of their company kept revolving. The only good thing I've heard is that Mac has retired and Trish is grooming her properties to be taken over by her sons.

Oh, and one of the stations she owns - and I kid you not - is called "Rush Radio" 1240 WATT in Cadillac. A woman owning a radio station devoted to a man who called a smart young woman a "slut". Nice.

It's sad that there's four talk stations up north and only WTCM is doing OK. Hell, WYPV even has a 'donate' button on their website. REALLY?!? It's a sign that things ain't doing too well at the Patriot Voice. Already, they've lost some local talkers - namely TV weatherman-turned-politician Greg MacMaster - and the only local show left is the one hosted by their owners in the midday.

The question is, where's Thom Hartmann? Stephanie Miller? Why so much angry old white man talk? Is it making money?

Also, why in the FUCKING HELL is Fox 32 still airing The 700 Club and Kenneth Copeland? Isn't Copeland under investigation for tax bullshit? The dude lives in a $6 million mansion and flies around in a $60 million jet plane all given to him by his ministry. Yet, The Jerry Springer Show - now on season #25 - is still homeless. It appears that none of the two big media giants owning northern Michigan's four big stations want anything to do with him. Folks, that's why I think the FCC needs to look into the two duopolies up north. However, media companies will always find ways to "own" more stations, i.e. buying a station just for the affiliation and branding rights and then moving it over to the .2 of the station they already own and then selling the gutted station for dirt cheap. Look at Rapid City, ND: Gray Television owns Fox KEVN-TV, but just recently bought ABC KOTA-TV as part of a mega deal with Schurz Communications. Gray can't own both, so chances are that Gray will keep KEVN, but KOTA will move to KEVN.2 while KOTA-TV itself is being sold for $1.

The point is, we own the airwaves, but lease them to companies. When a company decides to throw crap at our faces and ears, something's gotta change. I hope someday that broadcasters will listen to their fans and not people they like personally. True, in the world of broadcasting, there's not as much competition from a local standpoint, but factor in the internet, well, they should began to worry.

If Rush Limabaugh saved AM radio in the 1980s, who will save it now? 

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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

11.18.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Charlie Sheen




Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Charlie Sheen
Age: 50
Occupation: actor
Last Seen: New York
Bee-otched For: spreading the virus



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In the past, the words "Two and a Half Men" alluded to the TV show about two grown men and one of the guy's son.

Now, it refers to the man and his son and Charlie Sheen being the "half man".

The once-popular TV star made the revelation to Today's Matt Lauer that he's been HIV positive for four years. The only reason why it's taken him all this time, he claims is because he wanted it to remain a secret. But when people found out, he paid them to shut up. He claimed that he's paid around $10 million to shut up, but they all agreed that the money could stop if he finally revealed his status. He claims that all of his girlfriends all knew that he had HIV and had unprotected sex twice under a doctor's care.

However, some, including porn star Bree Olsen claimed that they didn't know that Sheen had HIV, but thankfully, she took a blood test and proved to Howard Stern on his show yesterday that she's HIV-free. Meanwhile, a prostitute claimed that she visited Sheen's house and found his AIDS medication. Sheen ordered her to keep his diagnosis a secret and not to tell anybody.

Sheen is well-known in the world of controversy. He's abused drugs, beaten one of his wives and became a total weirdo in regards to his problems surrounding his hit TV show Two and a Half Men. The fact that he kept his diagnosis a secret from everybody shows that he must have banged a lot of women during this time, and who knows how many he infected.

Even though Sheen claims that there's no trace of HIV in his blood thanks to the drug cocktails he takes, HIV is still a death sentence. Yes, we've made huge strides since AIDS was discovered in 1981 - just ask Magic Johnson - but there's still no official cure for the disease. In Magic's case, he has a lot of money and can afford the drugs to prevent his HIV from progressing into AIDS.

Nonetheless, Charlie Sheen is a big fucking scumbag for keeping his HIV a secret and a bigger one if indeed he spread his infection to others. Hell, he should rot in a jail cell for what he did. If you have any STD, you need to tell the person who had sex with. Yes, sex is great, but there's also a great consequence.

It's sad when Angus Jones is supposedly a bigger man than Charlie Sheen.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

11.17.15 Bee-otch of the Day: George W. Bush


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: George W. Bush
Age: 69
Occupation: ex-president
Last Seen: Texas
Bee-otched For: Isis


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Friday the 13th is usually a very unlucky day.

And it was to the people of Paris.

So far, over 132 people have died as a result of the mass shootings in the French capital. Many of them were slaughtered during a Eagles of Death Metal concert. Some at a soccer game. People wanted a night out in the City of Lights, but Isis apparently caved in.

Of course, this is the second time Isis invaded Paris; the first was earlier this year when they attacked the offices of Charlie Hebdo. Many wonder if there's an easy way to eliminate this ungodly organization and some say that war is the answer. Even the Pope proclaimed that this could be the beginning of World War III.

I visited my aunt on Sunday (one reason for the one-day delay for this BOTD), and we talked about the Paris attacks. At her church - Mars Hill, whose ex-preacher, Rob Bell is now buddies with Oprah - her preacher was talking about the disaster and guess whose fault it was? OURS.

You know, it's a shame that for eight, long torrid years, we got stuck with a frat boy as our president. He knew that 9/11 would happen so he could force our troops into two more expensive, fake wars that we ended up losing as-is. He told us that he wanted to "liberate" Iraq - a country that was already a decent place even though their leader was a tyrant - but in reality, it was all about the oil. There were no WMD and in the end, Iraq turned into a soulless nation with no direction. Because of this Isis was born.

Can you say, "Mission Accomplished"?

Like Charlie Sheen banging all the sluts that he wanted and getting HIV in the end, Bush was a cancer not just to America, but the world. In the end, Obama is left whether to shut the Pandora's Box Bush opened, and yesterday, he made the statement that sending troops over there would simply equate to their deaths. 4,000+ Americans died over Bush's wars and we don't need any more.

Tragically, there's Isis people already here in America. We are a society that *wants* to accept Muslims in our lives since most of them are simply like you and me. But can we trust them? Will Isis' presence here in America compute into another 9/11 or even worse?

Of course, Dubya could care less. He's busy at his mansion in Texas trying to be the next Bob Ross while watching one of his bar slut daughters' kids. His time is done. He did his damage and now it's Obama's turn to wipe his ass.

Thanks, Dubya. You've been out of the White House for six years and your stupidity will eventually kill us all.
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Thursday, November 12, 2015

11.12.15 Bee-otch of the Day: retailers open on Thanksgiving


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: retailers
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: opening on Thanksgiving

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Back in the day, Thanksgiving meant stuffing our bellies with Tryptophanian delight and spending much-needed time with family.

Now, it means get your ass to the store since you'll save major bucks on holiday goods. It doesn't matter since your loved ones are already working there since he/she can't get a real job.

Once again, at least 20 retailers will remain open on Thanksgiving this year in hopes of raking in big. Traditionally, it's Black Friday that brings in the shoppers, but sooner or later, Black Friday will begin the day after Christmas.

Among those giving the 'ol F.U. to their employees during Turkey Day include Best Buy, Walmart, Target, Sears/Kmart, JCPenney and others. However, there are a few that will stay closed on Thanksgiving, such as TJMaxx, Barnes and Noble, Costco and shockingly enough, Walmart sister Sam's Club. Outdoor retail giant REI will stay closed on both Thanksgiving and Black Friday, stating "go outside and play instead".

I personally feel bad for anybody who works on Thanksgiving. I once did it myself since I worked at a gas station years ago. I was invited to a family party and they did let me go during dinner itself, but I had to come back to work. Years later, it's now my mother whom I won't spend the holidays with since she's in a position where she cannot take either Thanksgiving nor Christmas off. It's been years since I've spent the holidays with her and I won't be able to until or if she retires.

Folks, you're fucking stupid if you shop at all on Thanksgiving. Real people shop the day before or after the holidays, not ON. The fewer shoppers on Thanksgiving, the better.

Thanksgiving is for eating turkey, not pork.
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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

11.11.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 58
Occupation: beancounter
Last Seen: Ann Arbor, MI
Bee-otched For: once again pissing off the middle class

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Well, at least our roads will start to look a little nicer.

Too bad that it's coming out of the pockets of our state's working class.

Yesterday afternoon, the turd of a governor signed the new $1.2 billion roads bill that would help to fix the state's failing, pothole-induced roads. Under the new law, if you pay $100 for vehicle registration, it will go up $20 and the state's 6% sales tax will now be applied to gasoline as well. A sad situation considering that Michigan as-is has some of the highest gas taxes in the country.

True, our roads need to be fixed, and it will create jobs in road construction, but there's a lot of families here in Michigan who cannot afford to pay higher taxes, especially when they live far, far away from their jobs. Growing up, my mother worked at a factory in Traverse City and we lived 30 miles away in Torch Lake, a 60-mile round trip. A lot of times, I would ask my mom if we could go to TC for a movie or what-not and she refused. True, this was when gas was one buck per gallon, but imagine if this was today. Bear in mind that TC is not a cheap place to live. About 12% of all people who work in the Cherry Capital even live there.

Same goes if you live out in the sticks. Yes, living out in the country is nice, but it costs money to make a trip into town, especially if you work and your shitty job don't pay you much. I live in the city and while it's nice living near work and shopping, the noise can be bothersome. Hell, I woke up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago because there was a fire in the apartments down the street from where I live. Plus there's little bastards screaming everywhere.

But let's face it: we have a Republican governor who ran a successful computer company into the ground. He's a beancounter and not a people person. If Virg Bernero or Mark Schauer were our gov, I think a more sensible roads bill would pass by simply funneling it from the wealthy in this state, namely the Devoses. But this is Rick Snyder we're talking about here, an asshole who's butt buddies with the rich and will do anything for them. Keeping their taxes low means more donations to the Republicans while the middle class gets more and more screwed over.

But hey, don't look at me! I didn't vote for the guy.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

11.10.15 Bee-otch of the Day: people bashing Starbucks


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: the religious right
Age: ageless
Occupation: pisser-offers of the world
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: crying over coffee

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It's sad when there's worse things out there to worry about than coffee and yet, that's what the Jebus freaks love to do.

Many Christians are pissed over the fact that Starbucks has decided to eliminate their traditional holiday coffee cups and replace them with a simple red design. In years past, the coffee giant would put ornaments and other festive designs on them to celebrate the Christmas season.

According to Starbucks, the reason for the lack of holiday design is that they want their customers to use the blank design to simply "tell their own stories". Weird answer, but it makes more sense than bitching about the lack of pictures of snowmen or Christmas trees. Plus, many Christians are even having their baristas write down "Merry Christmas" as their names when they order.

Look, Christians need to know that there's other coffee joints out there than Starbucks. Don't like their policies? Shop someplace else. Heck, I think Chick-fil-A serves coffee and they're very Christian. Why not check out The Coffee Beanery, Tim Horton's or even Dunkin' Donuts?

Here's an idea: don't like Starbucks' cups? START YOUR OWN COFFEE SHOP! As long as the coffee itself tastes good, it might do well! I know that there's Muslims who get pissed when supermarkets sell pork products like chops, roasts, ham and good 'ol bacon. However, there are Muslim-owned grocers that specialize in serving their people. Heck, one here in Michigan is even a Spartan Store.

Point is, when people thump their religion onto other peoples' businesses, it's hell on everybody. This is why we have a little thing called "capitalism". Don't like it? Don't buy it! Remember a few weeks ago when Rite Aid decided to cave to right winged pressure and started putting blinders over Cosmo? Well now, Walgreens is buying them out. Bowing to Jebus wannabes will not save a business. Besides, like the graphic says up above, they have other things to worry about than bitching over a coffee cup.

Jesus: shaking his head at stupidity everyday since 33 A.D.
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Monday, November 9, 2015

11.9.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Bob Kevoian


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Bob Kevoian
Age: 65
Occupation: morning radio host
Last Seen: Indianapolis
Bee-otched For: not quite leaving on top

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It's official: the world is being saved from lame comedy sketches and fake laughter.

Effective at the end of this year, The Bob and Tom Show will be no more. That is because 1/2 of the Howard Stern clone duo is retiring.

Bob Kevoian announced during the duo's induction at the National Radio Hall of Fame last week that after nearly four decades in radio, he will stepping down from the show at the end of next month. In a statement, Kevoian said, "When I was a teenager, I was a real smart ass. I didn’t get along with my Dad. And he said “if you continue this behavior, you’ll amount to nothing. But you will make it to the big mouth hall of fame.” I made it, Dad. I always thought you had to die or be retired for five years to be considered for any hall of fame. Thank god I’m not dead, but I am going to retire at the end of this year and walk away from the mic. Thank you for this great honor."

Bob's partner, Tom Griswold said in the same statement "It was a huge thrill to be inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame with my partner Bob. He will always be a part of the Bob and Tom Show, and his presence will continue to be felt as we broadcast the show for many years to come."

Kevoian's started out as a sound man for the Young Americans. However in 1979, he began his radio career at WMBN-FM 96.3/AM 1340 in Petoskey, which played beautiful music (96.3 is now AC "Lite 96.3" while the AM is now sports as "The Fan"). Three years later, he met Tom at a bar in nearby Harbor Springs. The two became close pals and Tom - who worked at crosstown WJML-FM 99/AM 1110 - suggested that he get a job at the popular top 40 station. He did, and the Bob and Tom Show was born. However, somebody - possibly 106 KHQ owner Tim Moore - sent an aircheck of Bob and Tom to struggling rock station WFBQ - Q95 in Indianapolis. The station quickly signed Bob and Tom to a contract of $30,000 per year and a year later, WJML's ratings sagged to the point that they flipped to adult contemporary. In 1991, WJML-FM signed off for good when it was sold to rock station WKLT 97.5 and it became "Double Rock KLT". The AM is still WJML, but is now a news/talk format.

Over time, Bob and Tom were a ratings monster in Indy. With Howard Stern's popularity rising and Q95 being owned by Clear Channel/iHeartMedia, they basically decided to syndicate the show to stations that didn't want to deal with the high cost of carrying Stern. In other words, it's like a kid asking their mom to buy Kellogg's Frosted Flakes and the mom gets the generic brand instead. The mom claims that it's just as good, but not with its crappy packaging and lack of toy in the box. Plus, it tastes weird. Well, that's The Bob and Tom Show. Yes, they have a news woman (Kristi Lee) and risque bits, but it's simply sounds like if Howard Stern was doing his show from Minot, ND. Even Howard himself claimed that he listened to a B&T comedy CD several years ago and thought it sucked.

I listened to B&T when they reappeared in northern Michigan in 1998 on the newly rechristened classic rock station The Bear. To me, it was, eh, OK. Not as good as Stern by any shape or bounds. This is why I started this site to encourage northern Michigan's radio station owners to bring Stern up north. But it finally happened when he signed on to Sirius in 2006.

Yes, B&T *had* some good bits, such as "Dickens Cider", but they were forced to purge themselves from most of their edgier bits in 2004 thanks to the FCC crackdown on so-called indecency. The show simply just got more lame. Even The Bear in northern Michigan's ratings started to suck with a 1.9.

The point is, Bob and Tom should have simply hung it up years ago. They no longer have affiliates in Detroit nor Grand Rapids because they got their asses kicked there. They never were on the air in New York and they were on a sports station in Los Angeles, but they never cracked a one share. The only good use for them are in small podunk towns where there's no real competition in radio. Hell, their WGN America show was a bust, even with Howard Stern's E! show being canceled.

Looks like Tom Griswold will have to learn how to adapt to fake laughing by himself.

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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

11.5.15 Bee-otches of the Day: Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Names: Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat
Ages: 42, 43
Occupation: former congressluts
Last Seen: Lapeer and Plainwell, MI

Bee-otched For: walking away in shame
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It's official: we probably won't be hearing from Todd Courser nor Cindy Gamrat for a loooooong time.

In Tuesday's primaries, the two had their adulterous asses handed to them by HUGE margins. Neither of them could even muster double digits.

Of course, that was to be expected from two disgraced congressluts who used taxpayer funds to pay for hiding their trysts. But in the end, it's time for the two to move on. Hopefully, it's not government-related. The fact that the two used their aides to create a fake campaign proclaiming that Courser was hanging out with male prostitutes backfired. Now, the Family Values party lovingly did to them what Lena Hedley got on Game of Thrones. (And why Ms. Hedley - a woman who has done full nude scenes in the past - went all CGI in this scene is beyond me. NSFW)

Somehow, I do have that sneaky suspicion that somehow, we will hear from Coursrat again. Remember the King of the Hill episode when Hank Hill's Mexican co-worker, Enrique keeps hanging out with him at his house because he and his wife weren't getting along? Hank takes him to a singles apartment complex and the Hills think that's the end. However, Enrique comes back and starts banging on the door and calling them frantically. The next day, the two go to work and apparently, because of Hank's ignorance, Enrique and his wife settle their differences and all is well in Arlen, TX.

The Coursrat saga was simply just like that King of the Hill episode. We thought the end had happened when Gamrat was ejected and Courser simply quit. But when they ran again, the voters didn't fund nor help them in any way. So now, they're gone. But like horror movie sequels, will they keep coming back from the dead?

Personally, I hope they simply disappear and don't come back. They were an embarrassment to the people of Michigan and especially their families. Cindy Gamrat sucked Courser's cock and then she kissed her kids. To me, she's a slut and a child abuser.

If any of them come back, I shall declare them zombies.
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Wednesday, November 4, 2015

11.4.15 Bee-otch of the Day: "Huge" Bill Simonson


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: "Huge" Bill Simonson
Age: 54
Occupation: sports talk schmuck
Last Seen: Ada, MI
Bee-otched For: rumored to be on the chopping block
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I wouldn't want to be an employee of Cumulus Media right now.

Yesterday, the once-proud media giant's stock price sunk even lower to a paltry 47 cents per share. That's right! A McDonald's hamburger is now more expensive than Cumulus stock.

Even with a new company president replacing the incoherent Dickey brothers, there's a helluva lot that needs to be done to save the struggling media giant, such as why in the hell New York City has no new rock station but rather a shitty country station called "Nash" instead. Even here in Grand Rapids, Cumulus has proven that they haven't done a whole lot since they bought their cluster from Citadel a few years ago, save for making their country outlet a Nash affiliate.

Well, according to Jeff Moss, a light might be at the end of the tunnel.

According to his website, Moss claims that Cumulus is looking to push out sports talker "Huge" Bill Simonson from struggling WBBL 107.3 because of his and the station's sagging ratings. In the last Nielsen ratings book, The Ball was at a 1.4, good for 15th place. It is Grand Rapids' lowest-rated FM station, though it would have been nice if religious WFUR 102.9 - a one-time perennial ratings loser - still subscribed to Nielsen.

Moss' latest diatribe on FatBoy talks about how he screwed over Ryan Schuiling, who once hosted WBBL's morning show. Of course, Schuiling is now on Lansing's 92.1 The Team, hosting a similar show. He also touched on Simohog's past legal problems, such as the fact that he cost his station in Austin, TX half-a-mil over a slander suit. He also talked about the fact that he was busted for public drunkenness while he was in Tulsa. Yes, he even touched on his buttboy, Matt Hanlon's drunk driving arrest that ultimately killed his career.

The only thing saving the Huge Asshole right now is the fact that Sean Baligan is no longer hosting the afternoon show on WBBL's arch rival, ESPN 96.1, who along with their iHeartMedia sister stations took away the Tigers and Red Wings from Cumulus. Baligan is now co-hosting the midday show on struggling WMGC Detroit Sports 105.1; his ESPN 96.1 show was actually beamed from his home in metro Detroit to Grand Rapids. Right now, ESPN 96.1 is simply airing national programming from the sports network. Then again, ANYTHING is better than Huge, even John "The Hoss" Perry, who sounds like he talks with cottonballs in his mouth.

Even more, the schmuck was an asshole to his ex-wife, Melissa. according to court documents published on Moss' site, she claimed that Huge verbally abused her around her kids that he adopted and even stalked and sexually harassed her. Even more, he named his kids Ace, Legend and Ava. Frank Zappa he ain't.

I could go through the whole deets of Moss' diatribe of Huge, but let's face it: I think his days hosting his pathetic dog-and-pony show are coming to an end. The only thing saving WBBL are the Pistons and if they make it into the postseason, it'll be a miracle. Part of me wishes that KLQ would return with Howard Stern in the morning.... Now, that's an idea! With his contract with SiriusXM expiring soon, why can't Cumulus make a run for him? They have stations in New York and even... Grand Rapids! Put KLQ back on 94.5, move Nash to 107.3 and watch him kick Free Beer and Hot Wings' asses! It'll never happen, though.

But if Huge gets canned, it'll be a step in the right direction.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

11.3.15 Bee-otch of the Day: MPAA


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Name: Motion Picture Association of America
Age: 93
Occupation: those assholes who rate our movies
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: slamming Michael Moore's newest film with an R-rating

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As fans of Moore's work, it is our policy that if we talk nice things about his competitors in Traverse City, Carmike Cinemas, we should do the same for him. After all, his Traverse City Film Festival owns two cinemas in the Cherry Capital. 
I've been to the State and it's beautiful.

Sadly, Moore is pissed over the fact that the Motion Picture Association of America has slapped his latest effort, "Where to Invade Next" with an R-rating for "violence, drug use and brief graphic nudity". Those prudes!
He took to Twitter yesterday claiming that the MPAA was wrong in its decision because much of the stuff that was R-worthy is stuff you already see on the news, including Eric Garner being choked to death by police for selling loose cigarettes on a New York sidewalk. The "drug use" was how Portugal was winning the war on drugs by not arresting people and the "graphic nudity" was two seconds footage of nekt Germans entering a spa.

"That's what the MPAA doesn't want teenagers 2 see w/o parental supervision. As always, teens: You know what 2 do, u know how 2 get in," said Moore on Twitter.

"Where to Invade Next" talks about how America would rather spend money promoting war and the military while other nations spend theirs on improving their people with free healthcare and legalized drugs. It is set to open December 23 against other big holiday flicks such as Quentin Tarantino's "The Hateful Eight", the remake of "Point Break", Will Smith's "Concussion", the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg comedy "Daddy's Home", "Joy" starring Jennifer Lawrence, another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's "Sisters" and oh yes, some sci-fi flick about Jedis and Wookies.

Mike, are you sure you want to release this film on December 23rd?

According to Moore, there's PG-13 movies that are nothing but "hundreds of characters are mowed down with guns or bombs". He's right! It's sad when the MPAA says it's OK for young kids to watch some guy's head get blown off, but when it comes to some German dude jump into a Jacuzzi, then it's a different story.

You know, it reminds me of a movie called "This Film is Not Yet Rated", which explains how fucked up the MPAA is. The film details that they've passed so many violent films for PG-13 ratings over the years, but if the film has "graphic nudity", aka vagina or penis, then it's prone for the dreaded NC-17 rating, which prevents it from being shown at many mainstream theatres. But in Moore's case, he will not re-edit "Where to Invade Next" because he's anti-censorship.

You know, it's sick knowing that in this great nation, it's easier for a dude like me to get a gun over getting pussy. When all these recent shootings happened, the government did nothing. But when Janet Jackson showed off her right boob during the Super Bowl, the FCC raised their fines. Here in Grand Rapids, a regular guy like me can no longer walk into a strip club since they've been banned for nearly a decade. Yet, this town is loaded with rape and murder.

IMHO, Playboy isn't getting rid of nudity from its magazine because of the internet, it's getting rid of it in hopes of being in more mainstream stores and boosting its sagging sales. Back in the 1980s, many family-based retailers dropped the magazine from its racks because of threats made by the religious right. You know, the same assholes who went to jail in the late 80s for tax issues and also support pro-gun politicians who think that the 2nd Amendment is more important than the 1st.

In the end, I hope "Where to Invade Next" will do well at the box office, even better than "Capitalism: A Love Story", which I felt was released at the wrong time. Nonetheless, I plan to see it when it comes out. If there's anybody who hits the nail right on the head, it's Michael Moore.

And no, I won't see it because of some German dude's weinerschnitzel. Now, Mike, there's some hot young female Germans, too, ya know....


 

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