Thursday, July 30, 2015

7.30.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Walter Palmer


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Walter Palmer 
Age: 55
Occupation: dentist
Last Seen: unknown
Bee-otched For: murdering an innocent lion
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Time for me to jump on the Cecil the Lion bandwagon.

By now, you should know about Cecil, the 13-year-old lion who was murdered by a Minnesota dentist who shot him with a bow and arrow and then disemboweled him as his trophy. Cecil was given a GPS collar by Oxford University as a project and was well-greeted by visitors who visited him on safari in his homeland of Zimbabwe.

Since the news of Cecil's murder, lots of love and support are pouring out in his memory. Even Jimmy Kimmel choked up while talking about him.

Cecil's murderer is Walter Palmer, a dentist from Bloomington, MN who loves killing majestic animals. He's killed other lions, leopards and even faced jail time in Wisconsin for killing a bear. He paid $55,000 to kill Cecil, whose headless carcass was seen on the outskirts of the park where he roamed.

Look, I come from a hunting family. We've owned a cabin in the U.P. of Michigan since 1928. Personally, I don't hunt (too boring), but I deeply appreciate my family's hunting history. Hunting deer is one thing, but killing majestic - and endangered - animals is another. I hope that the people who go to River Bluff Dentistry will stop going. If my dentist was killing innocent animals, I'd be going to another dentist instead. People like Walter Palmer need to be ashamed for what they do.

He needs to take Jimmy John and Ted Nugent to the hell he's going to with him as well.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

7.29.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Cumulus


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Cumulus Media
Age: 18
Occupation: radio giant
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA
Bee-otched For: making bad, bad decisions

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Twenty years ago, when I heard the words "we're going to Detroit", I was the happiest man on Earth.

Being a radio nut living in northern Michigan, I hated just about every station in town. I was a rock and alternative guy who didn't like the same dull oldies, country, CHR and classic rock heard on every station up north. I wanted variety. Detroit had 89X, WRIF, The Edge @ 105dot1, 97.1 K-Rock, Z-Rock and the station too cool for school, Planet 96.3.

The Planet played everything alternative from ABC to White Zombie. When it started, its playlist was very wide, loaded with the alt-rock hits of the day to the classics. The station even had some cool jocks: Vertical, Man at Large, Bo the Jammer and Allyson just to name a few.

Sadly, the ratings sucked, and in 1996, the station dropped most of their harder bands (i.e. Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Soundgarden, etc.) and went the wuss music route with the classics still sprinkled in. The ratings still sucked. They even tried all alt-classics. The ratings sucked even worse. So, ABC (the owners and not the aforementioned English group that gave us "The Look of Love") flipped it to *groan* hot AC as WDVD. Yes, the ratings rose, but seeing my beloved Planet die was, well, *sniff* heartbreaking.

Thankfully, many of the old Planet jocks stayed on board when The Planet morphed into WDVD, but Allyson was one of the holdovers. But sadly, despite her good ratings as morning co-host, Allyson was let go this past week. On Facebook, she proclaimed, “i just want to say how much i will truly miss talking to you every morning. it has been my pleasure and i thank you for all the support and friendship. i hope its not long before we talk again. BIG hugs and kisses from the bottom of my heart........:)”


With the cuts WDVD owner Cumulus and CBS Radio have been making these past few weeks, here's to hoping that Allyson will get back on her feet. Sadly, that's the business of radio. You can have good ratings and still get fired. But since we're talking about Cumulus, it's proof that they can tolerate bad ratings.

Case in point: their pathetic Nash format. In an interview with the New York Post, company head Lew Dickey announced that the country brand should be making a profit by next year. REALLY?!? They haven't made a dime in 2 1/2 years? Well, judging by their lame-o ratings, it doesn't shock me. Their Nash station in New York hasn't gone over a 2 share since it debuted. Hell, their Detroit stick is the third-lowest-rated music station in that city!

Cumulus sucks, plain and simple. In the early 2000s, they bought up stations carrying Howard Stern and dumped the show. They banned the Dixie Chicks over Natalie Maines' trashing of Bush. Now, they're a fucking trainwreck. With a stock price of $1.57 - down from over $5 a year ago - I wouldn't be coming to save their ass. If I did, Nash would flip to rock. Hell, I would put KLQ back on 94.5!

But for now, here's some White Zombie

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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

7.28.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Vince McMahon


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Vince McMahon
Age: 69
Occupation: Chairman/CEO, WWE
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: being a hypocrite once again

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The Detroit Red Wings had Gordie Howe.

The Chicago Bulls had Michael Jordan.

The New York Yankees had Babe Ruth.

And the world of fake wrestling had Terry Bollea, aka Hulk Hogan.

When Howe started playing for the Hartford Whalers, the Red Wings never erased him. Jordan owns an NBA team of his own, the Charlotte Hornets, but they still love him in Chicago. Babe Ruth probably never met a hooker he never liked but he's still a Yankee legend.

So, why is the WWE now pretending that the man who fake kicked Andre the Giant's ass in front of 93,000 fans at the now-dilapidated Pontiac Silverdome never existed? Their claim is that Hogan used the n-word in a private conversation that was recorded and released to the public. Yet, it's their head honcho, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, who used that word during a sketch on a 2005 episode of Raw

Since the Hulkster's firing, many have stepped forward to support him, including George Foreman and several other WWE wrestlers, past and present. Hulk himself apologized, since the recording was made eight years ago and claims that he has changed somewhat since. He does have a point. Last week, I was blasted by those on a popular message board because of shit I said when I was in my early 20s. I'm in my mid-30s now, and have changed a lot. Yet, people still think that I'm some perpetual 23-year-old. Oh, well. I'm not the one making shit posts from mommy's basement.

Personally, I think Hulk will recover. If he'll join another wrestling promotion again like ROH or the crumbling TNA is up to him and the organization itself. Hogan was with the WWE at least thrice, each time ending on rocky roads with Vinnie Mac.

Over the years, the WWE has been known for being very un-PC with many stereotypical characters (ie The Iron Sheik and Pretty Ricky) and even a character that was used to poke fun of the mentally handicapped, Eugene. The fact that Hulk Hogan used the n-word in private shows that true, it wasn't totally right for him to do so, but sadly, top management has done worse. With the $50 million the McMahons spent on Linda's two failed attempts at running for US senator from Connecticut, even the voters have spoken. I can go on and on about the hypocrisy the WWE has pumped out over the years, but as somebody who stopped watching as the TV-PG era went into full swing, all I can say is that there's better sports to watch on TV.

Now if those Tigers can start winning....



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Monday, July 27, 2015

7.27.15 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 161
Occupation: right winged turds
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: another week, another shooting

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When I woke up on Thursday, I had thought that Colorado had happened all over again.

A lone gunman in Louisiana walked into a theater showing the Amy Schumer flick "Trainwreck" and opened fire on eleven people. Three were killed: two women and himself.

The gunman, 59-year-old John Houser was a drifter who had a history of mental issues. He lost his home and family and ended up living at a Motel 6. The gun he had purchased to shoot at those 11 people was purchased legally at a gun shop in Arkansas. He borrowed $5,000 from his mother since he had no job and no home. He was also an ardent critic of the government.

I was listening to a little bit of Art Bell's new internet radio show Midnight in the Desert last week and he brought up that back in the 1980s, president Reagan slashed funding that helped the mentally ill. My old hometown of Traverse City had a well-known hospital that serviced those with mental problems and that ended up closed. Many with issues found themselves homeless or even dead. Nobody wanted to hire one whose personal state could have put others in harm's way. But thanks to 'ol Ronnie, the mentally ill have a better chance of taking out an audience at a movie theater over getting the help he or she needs.

When I was thinking about the shootings in Lafayette, Chattanooga, Charleston and others, I reflect about the horrific incident in 2004 when guitarist Dimebag Darrell Abbott of Pantera fame was murdered while playing with his then-current band Damageplan at a nightclub in Columbus, OH. His murderer was an obsessed fan angry at the fact that Pantera had broken up and blamed Dimebag and brother, drummer Vinnie Paul for the band's breakup. He was a former Marine who had developed serious mental issues while in the military, yet, his mother still gave him a gun as an award for his service.

But, I also think about the other incident in 2004 that shocked many: the moment Justin Timberlake accidentally yanked off Janet Jackson's bustier during the Super Bowl Halftime Show, exposing her left breast for millions around the world to see.

OK, so which incident got the most government attention: the one where the mentally-ill gunman who killed four people including a rock star who sold millions of records, or the one where a woman accidentally showed her right mammary and nobody died? I think that's a no-brainer.

After the Sandy Hook incident, President Obama proposed sanctions on gun sales, but it didn't fly past the house. Since then, we've had so many shootings all caused by those with mental problems who should NEVER be close to a gun. But thanks to the ammosexuals who run our house and senate, that's what you get for not voting, folks.

Maybe the next victim will be YOU.

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Thursday, July 23, 2015

7.23.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Rush Limbaugh


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Rush Limbaugh
Age: 64
Occupation: hillbilly heroin junkie
Last Seen: West Palm Beach, FL
Bee-otched For: REALLY losing out
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Rush Limbaugh is truly a has-been.

The pill-popping, prostitute-fucking, lying pile of goo recently lost affiliates in Indianapolis and Boston and his owners, iHeartMedia threw him on flea-powered signals in those towns. His ratings in New York, Los Angeles and Chicago are abhorrent and most of his bigger affiliates are no longer in the top ten in the ratings. Plus, his audience is getting older and the millennials sure as hell don't listen to him.

But now, we might know what his lowest-rated station is in all of Michigan, or at least one of them.

The Nielsen ratings book was released for Kalamazoo yesterday and WKMI 1360 - once a ratings leader back in the day - is tanking with a dismal 1.2. The Townsquare-owned station even lost to Country 102.5, a low-watt translator station that only serves K'zoo.

Bear in mind that WKMI is also the home of Sean Hannity, Todd Schnitt and Jonathan Brandmeier.

No word on how cross-town rival WKZO 590 since owner Midwest Communications apparently did not subscribe to the book.

It's funny that in a lot of markets, the station with the most local talk beats Rush in the ratings. WKZO is live and local in the morning while WKMI is mostly syndicated. True, WKMI has a show called "Renk", who is a local talker, but I think there's issues as to why they're WKZO's bitch.

Oh, and sister station WJIM 1240 Lansing is also tanking in the ratings.

I have to wonder if more stations will be canning Rush soon, especially with his contract up for renewal next year. He sure isn't worth the reported $50 million yearly that iHeart is reportedly paying him, especially after the "slut" incident. He's 64, it's time for him to retire.

Time to retire to that 30-something chick who only married him for the money. But when that money's gone, in the great words of Ken Harrelson, "She gone!"

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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

7.22.15 Bee-otches of the Day: Detroit Tigers


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Detroit Tigers
Age: 114
Occupation: baseball team
Last Seen: Comerica Park
Bee-otched For: really becoming more and more useless
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For the first time since 2010, the Detroit Tigers went under .500.

True, as of this writing, they're at .500 again, but with the playoffs being eleven weeks away, who knows what will happen?

Sadly, it looks like only bad things will happen.

It's been announced that the team is willing to trade off two of its best players - pitcher David Price and left fielder Yoenis Cespedes - as the non-waiver trade deadline nears on July 31. For a team that started VERY strong this season at 9-1, the Tabby Cats are barely even pouncing.

True, the team has struggled with star players being on the DL all year, such as pitcher Justin Verlander and as of this writing, Miguel Cabrera, but it's pitiful seeing what they've turned into all year. IMHO, the only good decision they've made was shitcanning bullpen duds such as Joba Chamberlain, aka the Zach Galifianakis of baseball. I do wonder if manager Brad Ausmus has what it takes to keep the team going. True, the team won the pennant last year, but they were still under the aegis of Jim Leyland.

I look at Verlander and wonder if he still has what it takes to be one of the Tigers' best pitchers. Sadly, I don't think so. He spent most of the year on the DL, he's 0-3 on the year and his ERA is a high six. Maybe he's simply become too rich for his own good and is spending most of the time thinking about his little girlfriend, Kate Upton. Maybe I oughta post those private nudes of Justin and Kate if the Tigers don't make the playoffs this year to show how much of an ignoramus he's become. True, it might give me some not-so-nice attention from my friends at the Michigan Radio and TV Buzzboard, but since one guy's avatar is that of the racist Confederate flag and another who loves to dwell on the "Dating Page" that I made in my early 20s uses the homophobic assholes of Duck Dynasty as his avvy, well, so let it be.

The point is, if the Tigers don't improve soon, count me out as a fan. It sucks that we'll have to wait a few more months until the Wings play, but at least they're still making the playoffs. The Tigers have some good players, but it's too bad that every time they have an awesome one, he gets traded. Just ask Torii Hunter and Max Scherzer.

The Detroit Tigers: on the road to 2003 again.  

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Tuesday, July 21, 2015

7.21.15 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 161
Occupation: right-winged pricks
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: producing a litany of loonies

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Somebody, please, tell Donald Trump that the more he opens his yapper, the more people will want the election to be over with so the Democrats can whoop his ass.

First, it was his idiotic comments regarding Mexicans in America and now, it's his uncalled for diatribe about Arizona senator John McCain. In a speech recently, The Donald claimed that McCain was no war hero because he was captured and tortured for five years in an enemy prison. To many, his words are a slap in the face towards anybody who served in the military, especially Vietnam. While McCain was serving his country, Trump was playing with his daddy's money and building a fortune of his own, now worth over $10 BILLION.

True, I don't stand with McCain's politics and I sure as HELL didn't care for the fact that he was the one who dragged a virtual unknown named Sarah Palin into the spotlight when he ran for president in 2008. But, I still appreciate the fact that he served our great nation, even if we didn't want to be in Vietnam in the first place. He came from a rich military family and did his duty to serve.

Right now, Trump is in the lead in the polls regarding Republicans, but Jeb Bush is still up there, even though he said that Americans are not working enough hours. REALLY?!? When I was working for my last boss, I was working ten-hour days and even Saturday. He paid me a shitty wage so I could work those ungodly hours. I think that's typical of a Bush plan, ya think? Force hard-working Americans into slave wages so they could work long hours away from family while the boss makes his money and doesn't have to be there at all.

It's laughable knowing how many Republicans are running for president. None of them are going to win! I'm rooting for Bernie Sanders, but I'll settle for Hillary. Lame duck Congress and Senate or not, Obama's been on fire with his deals with Cuba and Iran that will benefit many Americans, especially at the pump. Let's not forget gay marriage, either. If we had a Repuke in charge, I'll betcha that gas would be $5 per gallon.

The Republican Party: making the Democrats look good.

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Monday, July 20, 2015

7.20.15 Bee-otch of the Day: LKQ


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Name: LKQ
Age: 17
Occupation: used auto parts seller
Last Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: being a poorly-run company

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No, I didn't say "KLQ", I said "LKQ".

But something tells me that LKQ's management style is similar to that of Matt Hanlon's. (Say, I wonder how the sculpting business is doing?)

LKQ is a company that specializes in recycled auto parts. Their letters stand for "Like, Kind and Quality", three terms that sadly don't describe the company at all.

My first beef with LKQ occurred five years ago when I got into a car accident and my tow truck driver recommended LKQ since they do pay for junked cars. Well, I took it to their Wayland location (and for some idiotic reason, they advertise it as being in Grand Rapids on Division when it's near Wayland) and I told the guy who (barely) looked at my car that I wanted several hundred dollars for it. He gave me a whopping $200. I was ripped off. Big time.

Needless to say, I ended up buying a car that had a left tail light that was cracked. I was even pulled over because of it, so I've had red tape over it for years. To make matters worse, some years ago, my right hubcap popped off while I was making a turn onto Kalamazoo Ave. I thought that it was no big deal until I went to get my tires rotated in January and the mechanic told me that the bolts had rotted in part because I had no hubcap.

So last weekend, I had a chat with my dad about my car, and he recommended that I go to the junkyard to get it fixed. So, I figured that I would give LKQ another try, so I went to their website and looked at their locations in Grand Rapi- er, Wayland and Holland. The Wayland location didn't have anything, but the Holland one said that they had several cars similar to mine in inventory. I tried calling them first, but turns out that their number goes to their call center in Florida. So I said "fine" and made the 30 mile trek to that conservative hellhole. I told the guys there about my situation and I paid $2 to enter the yard. I looked around and found a few cars in similarity, but no hubcaps. So after walking around in the sweltering heat and humidity (it rained earlier), I walked back in and told them that I couldn't find a car similar, nor any hubcaps. The guy then said, "well, our database hasn't been updated in nine months". WTF?!?! I was pissed. The guy then said, "keep looking, you'll find something."

I walked again in the heat and humidity. Still nothing. So, I quit and went home. I wasted $5 in gas and $2 to enter their fucking junkyard and got nothing. So, I figured that I would call their Wayland location. I asked them if there were any cars similar to mine there, and the guy said "no". So, I decided to start asking him another question and he RUDELY hung up on me.

You know, this is why I fucking hate corporations. LKQ is one. They want poor saps like me to walk around on their broken glass-infested lots to get cheap-ass parts in heat to find nothing at all. No updating of their website to say what they have, rude staff and even worse, my car still looks ghetto with a bare wheel and a broken taillight. I've even tried CraigsList to see what happens. I hope there's a cheap way to make my 10-year-old car look somewhat new again.

I think LKQ really stands for "Losing Kash Quick". 

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Thursday, July 16, 2015

7.16.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Kid Rock


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Robert "Kid Rock" Ritchie
Age: 44
Occupation: rock singer
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: still waving the Confederate flag
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It's been almost a month since racist wackjob Dylann Roof opened fire on nine innocent black folks at Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston, SC. Since then, the state and its Indian governor took down the Confederate flag on state grounds and reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard had been yanked off the air because of its Confederate flag-engraved car, the General Lee.

Many - especially black folks - view the Confederate flag as a sign of racism and hate. But some still view it as a sign of southern pride.

Just ask that great Michigan-born redneck wannabe Kid Rock.

Rock is under fire because he proudly displays the stars and bars during his concerts. When asked if he'll ever stop the practice, he simply told the reporter to 'kiss my ass'.

Of course, Rock displays the flag as a tribute to southern rockers such as Lynyrd Skynyrd and others that emblazoned it during their shows. Of course, it's strange when a man born in Michigan and raised by a father who owned a car dealership once rapped about not being "straight outta Compton" but "straight out of the trailer" asks like he's Joe Dirt. But, of course, this is the same Kid Rock who escaped the dreadful WASP life living on a farm near Romeo and went into the city at night spinning records on a cheap Sears Roebuck turntable while the black folks were saying to each other "look at that white kid rock!"

Yes, Kid Rock started as a rapper who fused his rhymes with rock, but sadly, in recent years, success shot straight to his head. Ever since Obama became president, he had been producing, well, crap. His music has been sounding more like either country or John Mellencamp-ish boredom like his most-recent effort, "First Kiss". What's more shitty is that he supported ultra-wealthy Mitt Romney in the 2012 presidential election, whose mantra was that he would bankrupt Detroit. It's sad that President Obama saved GM with the bailout and Kid Rock, a man whose wealthy father made his bucks selling cars was supporting him. Now that Kid Rock is defending his decision to wave the flag that has separated this great nation, it does make me wonder if the dude has become racist.

But as long as his records sell, fine with me. Just another wealthy dude whose music speaks to dumbasses everywhere.




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Wednesday, July 15, 2015

7.15.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Cumulus Media


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Cumulus Media
Age: 18
Occupation: media giant
Last Seen: Atlanta
Bee-otched For: bringing back some Grey matter to Grand Rapids
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When Cumulus Media purchased Citadel several years ago, I was hoping for some good, positive change to the Grand Rapids radio market.

True, the drunk, Range Rover-smashing, Howard Stern-hating, radio station destroying asshole known as Matt Hanlon is only a memory, but tragically, his aegis lives on.

On Monday, 107.3 WBBL brought back Michael Grey as its new morning show host. Grey comes back to WBBL after spending four years at ESPN stations in Omaha and Seattle where he had no listeners.

"After successful stints in Omaha and Seattle, Michael is back to talk with fans about the teams he loves," said programming director Dave Jaconette, who seems to be clueless as it gets in a station release statement. Why would any successful radio personality do well in Seattle and want to come back here, period? It's because Grey's ratings were horrid and had no choice but to come home to Grand Rapids. Then again, this is the asshole douchebag who damn near killed WGRD in the early 2000s with its lame-o emo rock format, got fired (and thankfully, GRD was saved by Jerry Tarrents who brought in Free Beer and Hot Wings and flipped it to the active rock format that it has today) and fled to KLQ where he helped Hanlon nail the coffin shut for that struggling franchise. Of course, KLQ became WBBL in 2008 and Grey stayed on to do mornings only to leave in 2011.

Well, now he's back and it kinda makes me happy that there's one other sports station in town, ESPN 96.1. At least Mike and Mike have way more intelligence than Grey, plus the fact that Sean Baligan - local or not - is way better talking about sports than the bloated, fat, cottage cheese-assed dumbass known as Huge.

It will be fun to see ESPN beat the living SHIT out of WBBL in the ratings. Right now, WBBL is only beating ESPN by a small margin, but that's only because of Tiger baseball. I'll betcha if ESPN 96.1 had the Tigers and Red Wings, WBBL would be DEAD. I think a lot of people in GR are tired of Billy Boy's Howard Cosell clone schtick and why Cumulus still has him on the air on WBBL is beyond me (bear in mind that Townsquare now owns Huge).

Remember, this is Cumulus, the company that made big mistakes banning the Dixie Chicks from their stations, dumping Stern from their rock stations, adopting an abortion of a country format called Nash and so on and so on. In a way, it's no surprise that Cumulus brought Grey back.

Corporate radio: no wonder why they're billions in debt.




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