Wednesday, March 12, 2014

3.12.14 Bee-otch of the Day: WWE

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: World Wrestling Entertainment
Age: 62
Occupation: wrestling organization
Last Seen: Stamford, CT
Bee-otched For: nailing one more nail into the Attitude era
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Scooby Scooby Dooby D'oh!
This year marks the 30th anniversary of Wrestlemania, the yearly event that's called by many as the Super Bowl of wrestling. To help mark the event's birthday, a man who was there at the first Wrestlemania, Hulk Hogan, will host the event in New Orleans.

And oh yes, it's also getting immortalized in a movie starring Scooby-Doo.

Scooby-Doo! Wrestlemania Mystery is the latest in straight-to-video adventures starring the beloved Great Dane and his sidekicks Velma, Daphne, Fred and his best friend of all, Shaggy. This time, Scooby and Shaggy win tickets to the Wrestlemania event, but a monster is threatening to ruin the event. So, the duo enlist the help of WWE Superstars John Cena, Triple H, Mr. McMahon (in his first voice acting role, I think since Stone Cold Steve Austin royally kicked his ass on Celebrity Deathmatch), Kane, The Miz, Brodus Clay, Santino Marilla, Sin Cara, AJ Lee (the only Diva in the bunch) and yes, good 'ol John Cena.

Save your money, folks, because I know how the plot works. It's the same plot used on ALL Scooby-Doo cartoons: Scooby and the gang meet up with some strange dude, but then, they're haunted by ghosts. They finally capture the ghost, unmask it and it's the strange dude they met in the beginning of the episode. He utters "you meddling kids" and the gang all laugh. Show's over, the end.

I find the fact that the WWE and Warner - who own Scooby-Doo alongside virtually everything created and produced by Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera - are working together on this project, especially since the two were at odds with each other once upon a time in the infamous Monday night battle between Warner's WCW Nitro and WWE's Raw. The two different leagues gave wrestling fans choice and better content. But with WCW becoming an afterthought while the WWE became legend with its Attitude era wrestlers like The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Of course, WWE bought out WCW and some of the assets of ECW. Vince McMahon had the wrestling world to himself. True, there's TNA and ROH, but the WWE is still king. However, in recent years, the WWE has been abandoning their older fans partly due to the popularity of the PG-rated John Cena while the R-rated Stone Cold and others retired or moved on. A lot of it also was due to Linda McMahon's failed senate runs and some wrestlers dying from steroid abuse.

The fact that the WWE is doing a Scooby-Doo movie only proves that the league is now a fucking kids' show. Back in the Attitude era, they would never do a cartoon for kids. True, Scooby's been associated with the likes of the Harlem Globetrotters, The Three Stooges and Mama Cass, but having him associate himself with the WWE proves that we might ever see AJ in Playboy.

What's next, the WWE and Barney the Dinosaur? I love you, you love me, will you slam a chair on my knee?

   
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