Tuesday, February 28, 2012

2.28.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Republican voters


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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: Arizona and Michigan
Bee-otched For: deciding who will Obama beat in the 2012 election
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Today's the day, folks!

Yep! If you're a diehard Repuke here in Michigan or in Arizona, you're going to make a tough decision. I know, you hate President Obama, so you must decide who will beat him in the general election in November.

Decisions, decisions. You can choose from the gay-hating Jesus freak who quotes pill-poppin' Rush Limbaugh on everything, the rich dude who could become the richest president in history who lies about Obamacare and forces dogs to sit on top of moving cars, the fat dude who cheated on two cancer-stricken wives or Ron Paul.

And yes, I know, I know, Paul will NOT be our next prezzie. He might act moderate, but he ain't. Quit drinking the Kool-Aid.

Sorry, guys, but Obama's gonna be a two-termer. Sucks to be you. Americans are still sick and depressed over the calamity that Bush brought to our nation for eight long-assed years. Under Obama, Americans are getting back to work an finding new and better jobs. Under Bush, Michigan's economy nosedived, but thanks to Obama, the state's coming back because of the bailout of GM and automotive suppliers getting back to being busy again.

I know, Obama's not perfect. Neither was FDR or JFK or even Clinton. Yes, there was Solyndra and other companies that have gone belly up - especially in the green energy field - but that's life. Also, gas prices have gone way up, but that's because of the situations in Iran and people in China buying up Buicks like no tomorrow. But what are the Republicans crying? DRILL, BABY DRILL! Sorry, but that's never gonna happen. More pipelines in the ground will not solve our gas pains. What will is doing things like carpooling, keeping our cars tuned up and driving shorter distances.

Thing is, Obama can't fix this country himself. You have to do your part, too. And if you vote Republican, all it will do is make Dubya smile.

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