Tuesday, August 30, 2011

8.30.11 Bee-otch of the Day: MTV






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Name: MTV
Age: 30
Occupation: former music video channel
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: giving the censors some OT
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While last Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards did have its surprises, such as Lady Gaga dressed up as a Lenny Bruce wannabe and Beyonce showing off her baby bump, it had its disappointments.

The three biggest problems with last weekend's VMAs where Foster the People - buried in a sea of rappers - lost the best new artist award to some rapper named Tyler the Creator, the fact that people still love Christ Brown post-Rihanna assault and yes, once again, you couldn't hear a damn word of what people where saying because of those pesky censors.

Even though MTV is not under the yoke of the FCC, they still censor the shit out of everything as a lousy attempt to please the Jebus freaks, even though its hottest show is about fake Italians trying to get AIDS. What's even more beyond abmyssal is the fact that the VMAs were shown on not just MTV, but MTV2 and VH1 all at the same time.

And to my knowledge, all three channels carried the same feed, mutes and all.

Look, I understand that MTV's trying to play a good example to the little boys and girls who watch their channel, but I'm an adult. I already spend 90 fucking dollars per month on cable, and I don't even get HBO or any of the premiums. It's bullshit like this that make me want to take my goddamned cable box and smash it to smithereens. Why couldn't MTV show the VMAs UNCENSORED on one of their other channels, like MTV2? Hell, I think it's laughable when they bleep out words that AREN'T one of the dirty sevens, like when Lady Ga-er, Joe Calderone said the word "come" as in "When Lady Gaga comes on me..." Please.

As-is, I get flustered when they censor everything, even on basic cable. No wonder why people are dropping cable like crazy; it's because it's too fucking expensive, you're spending money on shows and channels you don't watch and a lot of the same stuff you see on TV is stuff you can see online. Oh, and the CEO of Viacom, Phillippe Dauman, made $85 million last year.

That's it, I'm getting the sledgehammer. 
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