Thursday, August 25, 2011

8.25.11 Bee-otch of the Day: the city of Grand Rapids








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Name: The City of Grand Rapids
Age: 185
Occupation: 2nd largest city in Michigan
Last Seen: southwest Michigan
Bee-otched For: celebrating an unfortunate anniversary


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On Saturday, the city of Grand Rapids will celebrate a tragic anniversary.

It was a day that had a negative effect on human rights. A day that basically had the local government turn adults into small children and a day where some people's views on Grand Rapids changed for the worse.

It was five years ago this Saturday at Midnight that Grand Rapids' strip clubs were forced to cover up thanks to a city ordinance.

According to the ordinance, dancers can get naked on stage, but they must wear pasties and G-strings and must be at least six feet away from patrons. The city's clubs did remedy this by becoming bikini clubs; the ones that serve alcohol could now have full-on lap dances now that they're no longer considered strip clubs.

The law was the brainchild of Judy Rose, a long-time resident of the Black Hills neighborhood in Grand Rapids. She's the president of the Black Hills Citizens for a Better Community. Her neighborhood is notoriously famous for its high crime rate, but yet she claimed that strip clubs played a role. So, she challenged the city's old strip club laws (which were the usual topless-alcohol/full-nude-no alcohol) by raising over $200,000 by an anonymous donor.

Many in the strip club biz think it was Dick DeVos who might have played a role, since Rose appeared in a commercial for his failed gubernatorial campaign in 2006. It's also worth noting that his wife, Betsy is the daughter of the late Edgar Prince, who help found and supported several far-right conservative Christian groups like the Family Research Council alongside Focus on the Family and the American Decency Association.

For the next few years, several strip club owners challenged the law, only to see right-winged activist judges side with the city. Even mayor George Heartwell said that there's no link between strip clubs and crime.

Sadly, we haven't heard much since 2008, except that the affected clubs - Sensations, Showgirl Galleria and Parkway Tropics - are still around and still making money, so Rose's little law hasn't done a whole lot. However, the Red Barn, which had been around since 1972 closed in April. Then again, it wasn't the greatest club in the world, either.

Needless to say, since the law was passed, crime has risen in the city and jobs are still missing. Even Kalamazoo passed a similar ordinance for Deja Vu since it moved into their current building in 2004. Their ordinance went into effect this past New Years Day.

The only full-nude strip club in west Michigan is now Odyssey Showgirls in Muskegon Heights.

Believe it or don't, Mayor Heartwell is right. the strip club ordinance is nothing more than the Religious Right sinking their teeth into our rights as human beings. Go to Canada for once. There's strip clubs everywhere and hardly any crime. Hell, you can chug a Molson while a hot Canadian chick's naked crotch is centimeters away from your face during a lap dance.

But here in Grand Rapids, you go to a regular bar alone like me, and good luck even TALKING to a woman. For an example, I was at Stella's this past July and I tried to strike a conversation with a group of ladies at the bar. One girl was holding what looked like a knife and told me to quit eavesdropping. Same thing at other bars; girls are into other girls and guys, but not me.

I think it's time to bring some love back to this town. It's why I'm proposing a flashmob for this Saturday during the MetroCruise. I'm considering putting up a Facebook event for a nude run on 28th Street by the two malls to protest the law. If you got it, flaunt it. If you love your body, express yourself.

Who's with me?

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