Wednesday, July 27, 2011

7.27.11 Bee-otch of the Day: "Huge" Bill Simonson's advertisers






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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupation: businesses
Last Seen: mostly in Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: still advertising on The Huge Show

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Well, I have bad news and good news.

The bad news is that the Grand Rapids Arbitron ratings for Spring have been embargoed due to a radio station owner not subscribing to the book. However, thanks to Free Beer and Hot Wings, the truth is marching on.

On last Friday's show on WGRD 97.9, the trio - also counting Eric Zane - used their text-to-speech "Robot" character that they've ripped off from Stern to rip "Huge" Bill Simonson a new one. "Robot" read the afternoon ratings breakdown between the morbidly obese butt buddy of Citadel GM Matt Hanlon on 107.3 WBBL and the massively-rising Sean, Terp and Killer over at Clear Channel's ESPN 96.1, and the people have spoken: Huge is sinking.

Amongst males 18-34, Sean, Terp and Killer are 2nd place while Huge is tied for 8th place. STK are also 2nd for males 18-49 while Huge is 6th and STK is 3rd for the money demo of males 25-54 while Huge is 6th.

After the ratings readouts, Robot asked Brann's Steakhouse owner Tommy Brann why he's still advertising on Huge's low-rated piece of shit. And ya know what? I'm wondering that myself. Same goes with Meijer, Miller Lite, Metro Health, Beene Garter, Auto Value Auto Parts Stores, Soaring Eagle Casinos and Celebration Cinemas. Oh! Both Amway and Fox Motors are HUGE sponsors of his, and both are co-owned by the DeVos family.

But hey, I don't see either Dan Pfeiffer Lincoln or Little Caesars on the list. Maybe they've grown a brain!

I love the fact that Hanlon killed WKLQ to bring WBBL to the FM. After all, he thought he was saving his investment in Huge, especially after he got the word that Clear Channel was going to kill Radio X 9-6-1 for ESPN. Sports talk on a 50KW FM stick will kill one that's 1KW AM *snap* like that. Yeah, WBBL might have all the Detroit teams plus the Whitecaps, but guess what? Clear Channel made the right move by getting an alternative to that fat loser. The shocking thing is that 96.1 virtually has no advertising budget for STK, yet you still hear Huge doing promos inside Meijer and on the big screen at Celebration Cinema.

End result? Huge is STK's bitch. BIG TIME.

I think I'll do my part and avoid shopping at ANY place that financially supports Huge. I find it funny that Meijer will promote the shit out of this fat twat, yet they avoid anything with Howard Stern's name on it. Hell, I've never seen Baba Booey's book being sold there, and it was a New York Times bestseller. I also find it sad that Celebration Cinema virtually owns the Grand Rapids theatre market, and the closest non-Loeks O&O to me is the AMC Star over on Alpine (which, ironically was founded by Jack Loeks' son, Bernie). Thanks to the internet, I'll do the right thing and download any first-run flick off of my P2P thingy for free. It'll be $9 the Loeks won't be using to fund that fat fuck.

Tragically, even though STK is the lesser of two evils, they still work for Satan, Clear Channel. It's one reason why I've never listened to their show, the other being that I'm at work when they're on. Yeah, like I'll support a company that uses Janet Jackson's tit as an excuse to dump Stern (and at last check, still owes him millions) and insults the intelligence of the average radio listener with Rush Limbaugh and Lonesome Rhodes Glenn Beck. But, in all fairness, I wish them the best.

And judging by their ratings, they don't need me.

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