Wednesday, June 8, 2011

6.8.11 Bee-otch of the Day: the producers of the Grand Rapids LipDub







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Name: the producers of the Grand Rapids LipDub video
Age: various
Occupation: producers of overly-ballyhooed YouTube videos
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: booking too many well-to-do folks in the video

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I knew it. The infamous Grand Rapids LipDub video is filled with folks who aren't having any problems paying their mortgage.

On May 26 - my 30th birthday, and ironically, the 40th anniversary of Don McLean recording this song - the nearly-10-minute video was released to the masses on YouTube and it's received some major attention. Roger Ebert called it "the greatest music video of all time", ABC News gave the citizens of Grand Rapids their "Persons of the Week" and even Don McLean himself called the video "awesome".

The video was made in part to alleviate Newsweek Magazine's claim that Grand Rapids is one of America's Top 10 Dying Cities. It is true, since the city has lost thousands of jobs and 5% of its population in the past decade. But like the citizens of Whoville who lost their presents thanks to the Grinch, they still have that good 'ol Grand Rapids spirit.

But guess what? A huge chunk of the people in the video are part of the reason why Grand Rapids is dying as revealed in a webpage by WOOD-TV .

Several well-known TV news personalities appeared in the video, including WOOD-TV's Bill Steffen and Ryan Takeo and WXMI Fox 17's Emily Richett, alongside John Gonzelez, Entertainment Editor for the Grand Rapids Press. However, the first lipper was Neely Adkins, a Rules Administrator at (GASP!) Amway. As a matter of fact, MANY Amway employees - mainly middle management - appeared in the video. One sequence also features two jocks from ailing Citadel country station Thunder 94.5, Party Paul and Flounder, who is dressed in a crappy Superman outfit and a guitar.

Also of note is a scene featuring a convertible with five men. One of them is controversial businessman Bing Goei who ran for the 75th district house seat last November and lost to a Democrat, Brandon Dillon. The video had its share of company bosses, GMs, presidents and even mayor George Heartwell cruising in a convertible.

Yeah, the video also featured not-so-rich folks, college kids and maybe a black person or two, but the hard-working joes and josettes weren't very present in the video. You didn't see many factory workers or (another GASP) bums, either. Oh, yeah! It's because factories have long-abandoned the city, taking jobs with them. No wonder why GR lost 5% of its population in the past decade.

You see, back in the day, if you hated your job, you could go across the street and work there, no probs. However, with yesterday being the tenth anniversary of the Bush Tax Cuts, jobs have left Grand Rapids and even the country. And yes, Amway's one reason why since they built a factory in China.

Look at me. I've had the same job for nine long fucking years. Guess how many raises I've had? ONE. Part of the reason is because of the dwindling competition my workplace has, the excess of people who want jobs and how many who are willing to accept low wages. In the end, I've seen my workplace transform from a place people wanted to work at to a place people HAVE to work at. As a matter of fact, the majority of the people my place has hired over the past year or two are over 50!

Even worse, the people of Grand Rapids are nothing more than people who only care about one person and one person only: THEM. I go to a bar and nobody ever talks to me. I stand on a street corner and people walk by. Hell, I swear that the only women who have been nice to me since I moved here nine years ago were all dancers at Deja Vu in Kalamazoo.

But, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. I have a cousin in the Detroit area who's looking for workers, and the pay is a hell of a lot more than what I'm making now. With my lease expiring soon, I just might consider getting the fuck out of this depressing pop stand, coming back only for business. This town has given me less in the past nine years all in the name of self-centeredness.

Emily Richett carrying her dog around like a rich bitch doesn't create jobs. Rob Bliss - one of the video's producers - is only feeding crumbs to the bear. We need this town to get its head out of its ass and create good-paying jobs or else I'm outta here.

Somebody told me that he would like to take a video camera down South Division and tape all of the abandoned slums and foreclosed houses in the area. Not a bad idea. I would suggest Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" as the background music.

I won't get into training a ton of bums and prostitutes the lyrics. 

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